DJ Jerry B’s Blog Mostly daytime ramblings

October 14, 2010

Whose Wedding Is It?

Filed under: Advice — Tags: , , , — DJJerryB @ 11:16 am

For most people, planning a wedding will be one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) things they will ever do. It is inherently stressful, regardless of whether it is a small informal gathering or a blockbuster of a party. Families, friends, co-workers — they will all have an opinion on what a wedding should be. And while those opinions will be helpful to some, they may instead create more stress for the couple. I get to observe part of the process, and this is really more directed to those who KNOW someone who is planning a wedding, rather than the two people getting married.

First, realize that their entire thought process is wrapped around the wedding. Yes, they can become a little self-absorbed. Try to cut them a little slack if they forget (occasionally) that the world doesn’t revolve around them. I know it can be frustrating at times. I can’t count the number of times a prospective customer has contacted me, asked for a quote, or even JUST if I am available, then disappeared off the face of the earth. They’re just GONE. Is it thoughtless not to acknowledge that someone has taken the time to reply promptly to their inquiry? Sure it is. But we’re talking “Wedding World” and it’s going to happen. A lot. I’m not saying that downright rude behavior is acceptable, I’m only saying that in the heat of planning, anyone can lose sight of things. If you feel slighted by someone who is in the middle of their planning, and feel you have to say something, please, be gentle about it.

Remember too that your vision of weddings probably doesn’t match theirs. Unsolicited advice, or comments about weddings in general, can be a lot more bothersome than you realize.

You may feel that spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding is insane. Or, just the opposite, perhaps you could never envision the idea of wanting something very small and simple.

Perhaps you’ve had a bad experience with marriage and can’t remember what those feelings are like. But do you REMEMBER when you felt the way they do now? Why would you want to take that away from them?

Each of us brings our own opinions when the subject of a wedding arises.  The problem comes in when those who are single can’t relate to the world of planning a wedding. As a result, they may trivialize the stresses involved, or question the personal choices the couple has made. They also may throw out advice that shows how little they understand about the family dynamics of the couple getting married.

On the other hand, engaged friends are busying deciding how they want their “perfect wedding” to look and if it differs from yours, it can be a challenge unto itself.  Remember that your perfect wedding may be the exact opposite of what your friend wants.

I realize that, for the most part, people don’t intend to come off as insensitive. I think they just get caught up in their own thoughts, memories and ideals.

October 6, 2010

Patty and Robb – September 25th

I was looking forward to Patty and Robb’s wedding from the first time the bride contacted me in January. They were planning their reception at their favorite restaurant, and my very favorite venue, Mission Oak Grill in Newburyport. First, a recommendation: if anyone is planning their wedding anywhere near this gorgeous seaside town, USE THE MISSION OAK GRILL! I can’t say enough about it. The staff, the food… everything.

The planning meetings that I had with Patty were really fun. I had the sense when I first met her that she was nervous about the prospect of creating an atmosphere that was fun for all of her guests. I loved watching the change in her the closer we got to the wedding day. You could actually see the growing excitement — it was written all over her face.

The ceremony was held at Waterfront Park, just about a two minute walk from the reception site. The bride and groom had chosen a bagpiper to play at their ceremony and, immediately following the recessional, the bagpiper marched all of the guests through the streets of Newburyport to the Mission Oak Grill. It was super fun, watching this from the second floor — an Irish Pied Piper leading guests to the party.

I had been a little concerned over my own abilities for one aspect of this reception. The bride and groom are country music fans and, well, I’m not. Added to this was the fact that, just a few weeks after the wedding date had been set, tour dates for Toby Keith were announced and his appearance at the Comcast Center in Mansfield was scheduled for the same night. The bride and her sisters are self confessed “Toby FANATICS” and apparently it was a sore spot among the ladies (all in good fun, I’m certain…) As a compromise, of sorts, we mixed in quite a few of the artist’s songs among dinner hour and dancing. And they loved it.

I don’t generally have cake at a wedding. I was told by Jess (the general manager at MOG) that I HAD to have some. Hands down, the best cake I’ve ever tasted. So another flagrant endorsement would be for Eat Cake!, also operating out of Newburyport. Not sure what else there is to say, so I’ll close with a discussion of something of critical importance. Cake.

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